{"id":1571,"date":"2025-11-21T23:32:47","date_gmt":"2025-11-21T23:32:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/?p=1571"},"modified":"2025-11-21T23:32:47","modified_gmt":"2025-11-21T23:32:47","slug":"2-days-ago-1-day-ago-my-husband-joked-he-wanted-a-hot-babysitter-and-i-agreed-but-when-the-door-opened-his-face-turned-white","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/?p=1571","title":{"rendered":"2 days ago 1 day ago My Husband Joked He Wanted a \u2018Hot\u2019 Babysitter, and I Agreed\u2014But When the Door Opened, His Face Turned White"},"content":{"rendered":"<p data-start=\"118\" data-end=\"282\">My husband Damon was grinning like a kid on Christmas morning when I told him the new babysitter was coming. He had <em data-start=\"234\" data-end=\"243\">no idea<\/em> he was about to choke on his own joke.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"284\" data-end=\"558\">Hi, I\u2019m Rory\u2014thirty-two, mom of twins, and the person who keeps our entire house from collapsing while Damon disappears into his gaming cave every night. I handled meals, meltdowns, doctor visits, grocery runs, bedtime battles\u2026 and apparently, I \u201clooked tired all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"560\" data-end=\"632\">Then one night, while his buddies were over, I overheard him downstairs:<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"634\" data-end=\"722\">\u201cYeah, we\u2019ll get a sitter eventually. Hopefully a hot one. I\u2019m a big fan of aesthetics.\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"724\" data-end=\"760\">The guys roared. My heart iced over.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"762\" data-end=\"795\">I didn\u2019t confront him. I planned.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"797\" data-end=\"1032\">A week later, I casually told him I was ready to go back to work and we should start interviewing sitters. He lit up like I\u2019d gifted him a supermodel subscription. He spent days sending me profiles of twenty-something yoga instructors.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1034\" data-end=\"1044\">I let him.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1046\" data-end=\"1073\">Then I scheduled <em data-start=\"1063\" data-end=\"1067\">my<\/em> pick.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1075\" data-end=\"1152\">Friday at four, the doorbell rang. Damon answered wearing date-night cologne.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1154\" data-end=\"1255\">And there stood Wallace\u2014tall, athletic, gorgeous, confident, holding a folder of spotless references.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1257\" data-end=\"1286\">\u201cHi! I\u2019m the new babysitter.\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1288\" data-end=\"1308\">Damon\u2019s face melted.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1310\" data-end=\"1408\">\u201cYou said you wanted someone hot,\u201d I said sweetly. \u201cI didn\u2019t realize you had a gender preference.\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1410\" data-end=\"1438\">Watching him squirm was art.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1440\" data-end=\"1592\">By the time Wallace had the kids making dinosaur noises and fixing our squeaky cabinets, Damon suddenly started coming home early\u2026 helping\u2026 apologizing.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1594\" data-end=\"1627\">We didn\u2019t keep Wallace long-term.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1629\" data-end=\"1680\">Just long enough for Damon to understand one thing:<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1682\" data-end=\"1745\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\">Some jokes stop being funny the moment the punchline hits back.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My husband Damon was grinning like a kid on Christmas morning when I told him the new babysitter was coming. He had no idea he was about to choke on his own joke. Hi, I\u2019m Rory\u2014thirty-two, mom of twins, and the person who keeps our entire house from collapsing while Damon disappears into his gaming &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1572,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1571","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1571","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1571"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1571\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1573,"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1571\/revisions\/1573"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1572"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1571"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1571"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1571"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}