My wife, Jenna, has never been the calmest person after a car accident.<\/p>\n
So when she called me from a parking lot saying she had \u201cbarely bumped someone,\u201d I already knew there was probably more to the story.<\/p>\n
By the time I arrived, a police officer was taking statements.<\/p>\n
Jenna was furious.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat guy was completely distracted,\u201d she insisted. \u201cHe was staring at his phone the whole time!\u201d<\/p>\n
Then she pointed toward a man nearby.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd he was drinking a beer! Who does that around traffic?\u201d<\/p>\n
The officer looked at the man.<\/p>\n
Then at Jenna.<\/p>\n
Then back at the man.<\/p>\n
I could tell he was trying very hard not to smile.<\/p>\n
Jenna kept going.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe should be the one getting a ticket.\u201d<\/p>\n
Finally, the officer raised his hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cMa\u2019am, I need you to understand something.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jenna crossed her arms.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe wasn\u2019t driving.\u201d<\/p>\n
She blinked.<\/p>\n
The officer pointed toward a wooden picnic table beside the parking lot.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe was sitting there.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at Jenna.<\/p>\n
Apparently, while backing out of a parking space, she had jumped the curb, rolled across a narrow strip of grass, and clipped the corner of the picnic table.<\/p>\n
The man had dropped his phone and beer when the table moved.<\/p>\n
Thankfully, nobody was injured.<\/p>\n
There was just some damage to the table and a very embarrassed wife.<\/p>\n
Jenna looked at me and whispered, \u201cYou\u2019re never telling anyone about this.\u201d<\/p>\n
I nodded seriously.<\/p>\n
\u201cAbsolutely not.\u201d<\/p>\n
Which was technically true.<\/p>\n
I told everyone separately.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My wife, Jenna, has never been the calmest person after a car accident. So when she called me from a parking lot saying she had \u201cbarely bumped someone,\u201d I already knew there was probably more to the story. By the time I arrived, a police officer was taking statements. Jenna was furious. \u201cThat guy was …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9992,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9991","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9991","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9991"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9991\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9993,"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9991\/revisions\/9993"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9992"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9991"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9991"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storypulls.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9991"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}