My 90-year-old grandma has always been strong-willed, and I’ve admired that my whole life. I love her deeply, and for years I’ve been the one helping her with groceries—every week, no matter the weather, picking up what she needs and dropping it off at her door. It felt like a small way to give back for everything she’s done for our family.
But lately, something has changed.
Her requests have become more demanding and expensive—specific brands, imported fruits, pastries from across town. What used to be simple errands have turned into time-consuming, costly tasks. Then the calls started coming during my workday, asking me to drop everything and bring items “right now.”
I still want to help her. She’s 90, and I know she depends on me. But I can’t ignore how overwhelming it’s started to feel. It’s no longer just about helping—it feels expected, even pressured.
I’m torn between love and boundaries. I don’t want to disappoint her, but I also can’t keep putting my own time, work, and finances second.
Sometimes the hardest part isn’t doing too little—it’s realizing you’ve been doing too much, and not knowing how to say “enough” without hurting someone you love.
