Navigating in-law relationships can be difficult, especially when cultural traditions clash with personal values. One woman recently shared how standing up for her independence led to a painful confrontation with her husband and his family.
She comes from a household where her mother taught her never to rely financially on a man. Her husband, however, was raised in a traditional family where the mother stayed home and the father provided. While he worked hard to unlearn those values and became an involved partner and father, he still placed too much importance on his parents’ approval.
When his parents came to stay for two weeks, tensions rose. In their home, chores are shared: she prepares breakfast, her husband cooks dinner, and everyone helps with cleaning. Her in-laws disapprove of her working, dislike that her husband shares domestic duties, and believe a wife’s role is to serve her family.
One evening, after coming home tired from work, she discovered no dinner had been made. Her mother-in-law told her it was her duty as a wife to cook. Her husband said nothing.
She ordered takeaway for herself and her children. When her mother-in-law continued criticizing her, she asked her husband to speak up. Instead, he agreed with his mother, saying she should act more like a “proper woman.”
Angry and overwhelmed, she snapped back that tradition doesn’t pay the bills and that he earns too little to demand outdated roles. He left the table in tears. She regrets saying it in front of the children—but felt pushed too far.
