Growing up, my mom left me a college fund. After my dad remarried, my stepmom controlled finances—and every Christmas, about $5k disappeared from it for gifts, trips, etc. I questioned it, but my dad always said, “It’s family money” and promised to replace it.
They never did. They went bankrupt, and the fund was gone.
I worked three jobs to finish school and eventually went low contact because of the resentment.
Now I’m finally stable. Recently, my dad asked me for $40k as a “loan” with no explanation. I said no.
The next day, he and my stepmom showed up at my door (they got my address through my aunt). He got angry and said I was “still stuck on the college fund,” and that feeding and raising me for 18 years was “worth more” than what they took. He told me to grow up and help my family.
I didn’t argue. I told them to leave and closed the door. Then I sat there feeling like a kid again.
Now I’m conflicted. Part of me feels justified, but part of me feels guilty because he’s still my dad.
Am I wrong for refusing to help and cutting contact again?
